#SchizophreniaSpectrumPsychoticDisorders #Bipolar1 #ADHD #Psychosis
Finally in the process of getting the help I have been needing. I know they say to trust the process, do the work... One step at a time. Why does it seem like all I'm doing is waiting? Why do I get more anxious after an appointment than I am at the beginning of it? It doesn't help that when I have a psychotic episode they seem to be lasting longer and I don't trust my own thoughts or perception... This has all been a new eye opening journey but also a scary one because I'm just learning about my disorders and the symptoms from them which is definitely giving me some clarity for certain situations that have happened throughout my life but it's also disheartening. I live with so much guilt and shame, I can't help but wonder that if I had help sooner that maybe I wouldn't have all this regret. I know I shouldn't dwell on the past and focus on creating a better future, a better version of myself (whoever the help that is) but that's easier said than done.